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PhoenixHawk Man of Steel

Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 442 Location: as if anyone really gives a crap
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Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 2:53 pm Post subject: review |
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Well.....crap . I just wrote a piece not too long ago that incorporated a bunch of the writer's guild toons induction into the Onami...Spectreblade was amongst them. That's ok, I'll rewrite that part, since it takes place about 5 years in to the future of this one.
And the ending of this piece...I think News Flash said it about right...
"Well that's creepy."
D
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Spectreblade Class 100 Hero

Joined: 25 Apr 2006 Posts: 120 Location: Philadelphia, PA
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Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 4:25 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry about that. I had a hard time deciding when this story would take place. I wanted to mention how I joined after the fight with Dominatrix, and show how Armorbound ended up in the Zig to be broken out with the other villains and begin his carreer in the Rouge Isles, so I set it pre-death. Of course, it was only after I sent it in that I saw the continuity problems it would cause. I think setting it when I did was a big mistake.
Other than that, I was going for creepiness in this story. I was a little reluctant to use an innocent woman as a redshirt, but I wanted to have him doing some evil right off the bat.
So, does anyone else have any comments?
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_________________ It is a mistake to fancy that horror is associated inextricably with darkness, silence, and solitude. I found it in the glare of midafternoon, in the clangour of a metropolis... |
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Myths n' Wraiths Freedom Phalanx Founding Member

Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 832 Location: I give a crap too ;) .
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Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 8:03 pm Post subject: |
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Well since you were going for the creepy feeling, you did a good job . A nice quick reed Spectre, which was a bit refreshing since there were quite a few longer wokrs on this update (not complaining, keeping writing everyone ). The Onami Strike Force seems to be getting quite a work out lately. I like that. The comman characters such as News Flash are starting to take on a life of their own.
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_________________ Murphey's Laws of Combat
"A sucking chest wound is natures way of telling you to slow down." |
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Ockham Freedom Phalanx Founding Member

Joined: 25 Apr 2006 Posts: 877 Location: I give a crap!
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Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 11:02 pm Post subject: |
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Hmmm... I'll have to fix that then won't I.

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Voyager Class 100 Hero

Joined: 28 Apr 2006 Posts: 130
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Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 12:52 pm Post subject: |
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Onami Strike Force has taken over thie CoH writers guild hostage!!
News Flash, News Flash!
Ok, you guys are truly all over this website, makes me wonder how many writers there is within your ranks?
Maybe I will attempt a "stealth" invite and find out for myself
I got the creepy feeling at the end all right, very well done, built up to a crescendo of tension. It was fast paced, a nice introduction. Although I still don't know enough about Onami, this was well presented abd to the point.
I don't know if it's just me, but I would wish some more time could've been spent on character description (since I know not you guys). For the common reader, this would apply, we have names but no faces or ideas to put with them.
All right, back to Onami Story Stalking. 
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PhoenixHawk Man of Steel

Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 442 Location: as if anyone really gives a crap
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Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 1:46 pm Post subject: |
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Now that's entertainment!
Seriously, we have myself (of course), Voltech, Ockham, Myths, Spectreblade, and Joe even graces us with his presence from time to time with Dis Miss.
You're welcome to come aboard, too Voyager!
I put out the invite a while back because I thought it would be fun for us all to get some characters together and play. The stories were just a second thought.
The group is actually pretty small, consisting of the above writers, and my fiancee, two brothers, and two other friends who don't play that much anymore (and their primaries are Skida Marink and Celsius Band, so they have their own group, AotA).
I play CoH because I have fun with co-op play and the team interaction. That said, I was never really big on pickup teams, so having more and more friends to play with just keeps it fun for me.
Ok, enough of me hijacking this thread. Thanks to all of you guys for coming over to Justice server and the Onami. It's been a hell of a lot of fun having more friends to play with.
D
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Voyager Class 100 Hero

Joined: 28 Apr 2006 Posts: 130
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Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 5:48 pm Post subject: |
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Offer taken, made an alt, name's Akritar Bane (of course) and I'm broke!!!!!!
Yup, that's me, begging for money and an invite or something....
@Voyager (of course) 
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PhoenixHawk Man of Steel

Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 442 Location: as if anyone really gives a crap
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Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 7:23 pm Post subject: |
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Awesome, I'll be looking for you.
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fixit God-like Powers

Joined: 01 May 2006 Posts: 605 Location: Utah
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Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 7:40 pm Post subject: |
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heh, you got a good horror story going on here. Only the first chapter and I already wanted to yell out "Don't go down there!"
I mean seriously, doesnt a single, cute, female museum worker know NOT to go downstairs alone at night to check out that 'mysterious magic chest'?
That just reeks of disaster!
Loved it.
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_________________ Consider it fixed! |
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Ockham Freedom Phalanx Founding Member

Joined: 25 Apr 2006 Posts: 877 Location: I give a crap!
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Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 1:15 pm Post subject: |
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Now that I am back home, in the awesome Chicago weather , I can get back to my routine.
Wow, talk about the foreshadowing, this story is going to be great.
Thanks for using News Flash, now that he has appeared in two stories now, it's about time I use him in something. I'll have to finish up with what I am working on and send it in.
Good job.
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fixit God-like Powers

Joined: 01 May 2006 Posts: 605 Location: Utah
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Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 2:43 pm Post subject: |
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On the subject of News Flash (is it just me or is he dominating the forums these days) I really like the idea of a reporter/ hero. Though I guess it's not a new idea, e.g. superman, it seems different in CoH. I was planning on truning the reporter Lindsay into a super, but I ended up liking her where she is. Anyway, I do hope to see more of this story, I like the characters, the relationships and the fact that it's pre-PH death.
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_________________ Consider it fixed! |
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Ockham Freedom Phalanx Founding Member

Joined: 25 Apr 2006 Posts: 877 Location: I give a crap!
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Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 2:51 pm Post subject: |
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Your wish is my command.
I am working on News Flash, but not his origin. With luck in editing maybe next week.
I really need to get him done so I can finish Shades of Crey: Issue 2.
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