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Ghosts Beneath

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Myths n' Wraiths Freedom Phalanx Founding Member Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 848 Location: I give a crap too ;) .	Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 5:10 am    Post subject: Ghosts Beneath   Little note on how this came about. I really wanted to do a peice for Wraith to add to this series but at the same time I did not want to get into his story. This part of his life is a mystery to even his brother and will probably be a tale that never gets told. So the idea to write this from a different perspective popped in my head and this is what came about. Hope you all enjoy. _________________ Murphey's Laws of Combat "A sucking chest wound is natures way of telling you to slow down."
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Ockham Freedom Phalanx Founding Member Joined: 25 Apr 2006 Posts: 892 Location: I give a crap!	Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 10:36 am    Post subject:   This was a neat little story. It could be interesting to reveal his life through the stories of others than when pieced together form the epic. Couple spelling errors, but nothing serious. I think the fight scene was pulled off well, no lack of or overflow of action to bog down the story. _________________ Need a break from COH Fan Fiction? Try www.AnthonyHarte.com A Sci-Fi Fantasy Source.
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PhoenixHawk Man of Steel Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 442 Location: as if anyone really gives a crap	Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 12:55 pm    Post subject:   I agree, very cool little piece. I also agree with Ock that writing around Wraith's story so that we could piece it together is a neat idea, let's our imagination run with it more. The funny thing on the spelling errors in this is that they aren't spelling errors that a spell-check would find. The words are spelled right, just as is typical of most of us when we type fast, our fingers bang out the wrong version of a word (there, their, they're for example). Nice addition to this, MW. D
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RoboZon Man of Steel Joined: 28 Apr 2006 Posts: 276 Location: cloud 10 (forget cloud 9 it sucks)	Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 1:37 pm    Post subject:   i liked the way it was writen from a rikti's point of view... id never really thought of doin it that way before great story i loved the details _________________ "Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man, but sooner or later the man who wins is the one who thinks he can." -bruce lee Eli J. Litzelman aka RoboZon
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Myths n' Wraiths Freedom Phalanx Founding Member Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 848 Location: I give a crap too ;) .	Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 4:18 pm    Post subject:   Those types of spelling errors are what Vindea normaly edits out for me . Unfortunately she could not open the file that I sent her becuase of some formating issues that neither of us could figure out so you got to see it without her gramatical touch. That is a very interesting idea for telling Wraith's teenage years. It is something I will have to consider. It will be a while before I could even start it though. I have finally gotten back to work on my current project after nearly a month of shelving it so I could get ready for my promotion board. Thank you all for the reviews and I am glad that you enjoyed it. _________________ Murphey's Laws of Combat "A sucking chest wound is natures way of telling you to slow down."
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pastarican Class 100 Hero Joined: 01 May 2006 Posts: 221 Location: Ohio	Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 5:20 pm    Post subject:   Well done. Loved the Rikti perspective...made me think of Predator or Alien in reverse. Good tension to the story as well. -M-
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Vindea Policeman Joined: 25 May 2006 Posts: 44	Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 12:16 pm    Post subject:   Awesome little story here. Normally, I am more of a dialouge person, but this was nice. GREAT fight scenes; you are so much better at it than I am. The only thing wrong with it is the spelling and grammar. PALE, PALE, darling! Vindea
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PhoenixHawk Man of Steel Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 442 Location: as if anyone really gives a crap	Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 12:20 pm    Post subject:   Pale = a faded white palor Pail = a small bucket It's all good...we got it.
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RoboZon Man of Steel Joined: 28 Apr 2006 Posts: 276 Location: cloud 10 (forget cloud 9 it sucks)	Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 4:51 pm    Post subject:   PhoenixHawk wrote: Pale = a faded white palor Pail = a small bucket It's all good...we got it. aaahhh... wha? _________________ "Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man, but sooner or later the man who wins is the one who thinks he can." -bruce lee Eli J. Litzelman aka RoboZon
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Altec Policeman Joined: 30 Jan 2007 Posts: 31 Location: The U of K	Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 8:14 pm    Post subject:   Very nice M&W I love that you have written the encounter from the rikti's perspective. It adds more to your own character when described by the view of his enemy. I enjoyed the rikti's story shame he had to encounter Wraith. If anything was goner happen in the impending conflict it was pretty obvious an SG base somewhere would be getting a novelty shaped spitoon soon. Still enjoying the continuing tales of M&W hope to see more soon _________________ "Who was that masked man?"
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Myths n' Wraiths Freedom Phalanx Founding Member Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 848 Location: I give a crap too ;) .	Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 9:20 pm    Post subject:   Quote: PALE, PALE, darling! Yes dear _________________ Murphey's Laws of Combat "A sucking chest wound is natures way of telling you to slow down."
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fixit God-like Powers Joined: 01 May 2006 Posts: 605 Location: Utah	Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 11:08 am    Post subject:   This was great. I'm glad I finally got a few seconds to read the latest stories. This is the first time I can think of that someone wrote from the Rikti p.o.v. and I'm kinda mad that I didn't think of it. Action flowed well, and the terms used to describe the hero were fantastic. One of your best man. it was great to read and a wonderful addition to the Falling Sky line. _________________ Consider it fixed!
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Myths n' Wraiths Freedom Phalanx Founding Member Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 848 Location: I give a crap too ;) .	Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:37 pm    Post subject:   Thank you much for the review Fix. I like the fact that everyone is commenting on the fight scene in this story so much when in reality it was one of the things i payed the least attention to while I was writing. But perhaps that is why it fits so well into the story and compliments it enough to warrent mention. In my current project I am actualy going out of my way to minimize actual fight scenes and build suspense through story telling and plot development. We'll have to see how that works out. Don't worry about not being the first to write from the Riki's perspective Fix... there were plenty more of them around for you to use should you still want too _________________ Murphey's Laws of Combat "A sucking chest wound is natures way of telling you to slow down."
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