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5 year slumber party

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5 year slumber party
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Myths n' Wraiths
Freedom Phalanx Founding Member


Joined: 26 Apr 2006
Posts: 832
Location: I give a crap too ;) .

PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2007 12:19 am    Post subject: 5 year slumber party Reply with quote
 
Another piece to the puzzel of this heroines life gets dropped into place. Not a bad story at all. I think you could have done more with their homeworld. You showed us enough to make it clear that it wasnt earth and then gave it some very earthy qualities 'hair the color of straw' 'teenagers and highschool' that sort of thing. Still that whole setting was just a vehicle to move your plot and so it really didn't have that much of an effect on the story itself.
The whole idea of getting to go on a five year space ship ride was pretty cool. Though knowing my temperment, i would probably be wishing I had chosen the stasis after the first week Laughing . I know everyone else would be wishing I had.


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Dursagon



Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 4
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2007 7:23 pm    Post subject: Glad you liked it. Reply with quote
 
I'm glad you liked it. I was unsure for awhile on if I should had given more info on Flarebacks planet during the prologue. I figured I could reveal more during the story as it goes along. I decided to post again because my previous story got such good responses and many hits. So many hits that when I googled my name, that story was the very first result listed. I was beside myself because I didn't think I could make something that would get me at the top of a search list. If word gets around and I continue to get all this positive feedback, then that might motivate me more to get the whole story out.

As a side story, the 5 year trip was not uneventful. The teens ran into other species along the way and sufice to say that one species was rather seedy and wanted to enslave the kids. Guess no one expected Flare to almost become a welder while Blaze would have been turned into a kiln. But, before the trip is over, Gash and Chill do get their powers and they find earth.


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Myths n' Wraiths
Freedom Phalanx Founding Member


Joined: 26 Apr 2006
Posts: 832
Location: I give a crap too ;) .

PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 7:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
 
That is pretty cool about the google thing. I will have to try googling my pen name. Surprised

I encourage you to try and press through this series regardless of the reviews though. I have two minor and one major work to complete before I have done everything I had originaly intended to write in this genre (and then some) and I have to say it has been very satisfieng and fulfilling. Just look to improve yourself with each extra work and I am sure that it will be a very fulfilling experience.


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