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Metaphors

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Metaphors
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Ockham
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Location: I give a crap!

PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 1:25 pm    Post subject: Metaphors Reply with quote
 
Got this from an email. Enjoy:

Quote:

Metaphors


Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners:


1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.


2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances
like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like
a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one
of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the
country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a
solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.


4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room
temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog
makes just before it throws up.


6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.


9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
filled with vegetable soup.


11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city
and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30


12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when
you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced
across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one
having left Cleveland at 6:36
p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed
of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.


16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was
the East River.


18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap,
only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.


20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike
Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating for a while.


22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,
either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on
a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender
leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.


24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around
with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard
bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.



It's hard to choose a favorite.
Laughing


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VuDu DawL
Sidekick


Joined: 17 Dec 2007
Posts: 64
Location: State of Confusion

PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 8:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
 
I normally depend on my b/f for help with my Algebra studies. For some reason, they threw me a curve ball and tossed in some Geometry in last night's homework. Here was his "reaction"...

Quote:

<reacts like a vampire at the Olive Garden during Garlic Festival week>



lol

I don't know where he comes up with these things at times, but I had to laugh.

Smile

(Scarce these days - as I am back to school)


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Tropic
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Apr 2006
Posts: 308
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
 
My fave, I think, is #20.

I hope i'm not Phil!

T

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Myths n' Wraiths
Freedom Phalanx Founding Member


Joined: 26 Apr 2006
Posts: 848
Location: I give a crap too ;) .

PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
 
#10 FTW Very Happy


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VuDu DawL
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Location: State of Confusion

PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 12:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
 
Myths n' Wraiths wrote:

#10 FTW Very Happy



You know, that one produced an amazingly disgusting (but very vivid) visual....

Smile I guess that was the author's intention...heh.


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Myths n' Wraiths
Freedom Phalanx Founding Member


Joined: 26 Apr 2006
Posts: 848
Location: I give a crap too ;) .

PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 11:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
 
I just cant help but wondering if the insperation came from actual experience... with bags of vegetable soup I mean.


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Tog
Class 100 Hero


Joined: 03 Oct 2007
Posts: 102
Location: Northern Utah

PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 5:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
 
#9 bugs me as it's a pretty much direct rip-off, err homage, to Hitchhiker's Guide about the Vogon Ships.

I do like #20 on so many levels.

There is one missing. When I originally saw this, years ago, there were only about 12 an one from that list was something like:

"She caught your eye like the hook from a screen door that was slammed a bit too hard."


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RoboZon
Man of Steel


Joined: 28 Apr 2006
Posts: 276
Location: cloud 10 (forget cloud 9 it sucks)

PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 3:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
 
*laughs like a man who died from laughter and went to heaven, but was kicked out because of the noise* Laughing


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fixit
God-like Powers


Joined: 01 May 2006
Posts: 605
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 6:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
 
hehe...
I never mataphor I didn't like!


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