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Metaphors

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Ockham Freedom Phalanx Founding Member Joined: 25 Apr 2006 Posts: 892 Location: I give a crap!	Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 1:25 pm    Post subject: Metaphors   Got this from an email. Enjoy: Quote: Metaphors Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners: 1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. 2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. 3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. 4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef. 5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. 6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. 7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree. 8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine. 9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. 10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. 11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30 12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. 13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. 14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. 15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. 16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. 17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River. 18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. 19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. 20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. 21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. 22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. 23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. 24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. 25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. It's hard to choose a favorite. _________________ Need a break from COH Fan Fiction? Try www.AnthonyHarte.com A Sci-Fi Fantasy Source.
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VuDu DawL Sidekick Joined: 17 Dec 2007 Posts: 64 Location: State of Confusion	Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 8:55 pm    Post subject:   I normally depend on my b/f for help with my Algebra studies. For some reason, they threw me a curve ball and tossed in some Geometry in last night's homework. Here was his "reaction"... Quote: <reacts like a vampire at the Olive Garden during Garlic Festival week> lol I don't know where he comes up with these things at times, but I had to laugh. (Scarce these days - as I am back to school) _________________ My City of Heroes Fan Ficiton pages: http://coh.iswiz.com The Action Zone - a City of Heroes/Villains screenshot gallery: http://coh.iswiz.com/gallery/index.php Send your favorite screenshot as an E-card!
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Tropic Site Admin Joined: 25 Apr 2006 Posts: 308 Location: Florida	Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:40 pm    Post subject:   My fave, I think, is #20. I hope i'm not Phil! T
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Myths n' Wraiths Freedom Phalanx Founding Member Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 848 Location: I give a crap too ;) .	Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:54 pm    Post subject:   #10 FTW _________________ Murphey's Laws of Combat "A sucking chest wound is natures way of telling you to slow down."
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VuDu DawL Sidekick Joined: 17 Dec 2007 Posts: 64 Location: State of Confusion	Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 12:40 am    Post subject:   Myths n' Wraiths wrote: #10 FTW You know, that one produced an amazingly disgusting (but very vivid) visual.... I guess that was the author's intention...heh. _________________ My City of Heroes Fan Ficiton pages: http://coh.iswiz.com The Action Zone - a City of Heroes/Villains screenshot gallery: http://coh.iswiz.com/gallery/index.php Send your favorite screenshot as an E-card!
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Myths n' Wraiths Freedom Phalanx Founding Member Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 848 Location: I give a crap too ;) .	Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 11:32 pm    Post subject:   I just cant help but wondering if the insperation came from actual experience... with bags of vegetable soup I mean. _________________ Murphey's Laws of Combat "A sucking chest wound is natures way of telling you to slow down."
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Tog Class 100 Hero Joined: 03 Oct 2007 Posts: 102 Location: Northern Utah	Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 5:38 am    Post subject:   #9 bugs me as it's a pretty much direct rip-off, err homage, to Hitchhiker's Guide about the Vogon Ships. I do like #20 on so many levels. There is one missing. When I originally saw this, years ago, there were only about 12 an one from that list was something like: "She caught your eye like the hook from a screen door that was slammed a bit too hard." _________________ Guide for new players is now (mostly) updated for Issue 12. Link is the website in my profile.
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RoboZon Man of Steel Joined: 28 Apr 2006 Posts: 276 Location: cloud 10 (forget cloud 9 it sucks)	Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 3:02 pm    Post subject:   *laughs like a man who died from laughter and went to heaven, but was kicked out because of the noise* _________________ "Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man, but sooner or later the man who wins is the one who thinks he can." -bruce lee Eli J. Litzelman aka RoboZon
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fixit God-like Powers Joined: 01 May 2006 Posts: 605 Location: Utah	Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 6:03 pm    Post subject:   hehe... I never mataphor I didn't like! _________________ Consider it fixed!
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