CoH Writer's Guild Review

[Ockham]

Interesting.

Well edited.

Definitely, I think you are at the top of your game here.

My only criticism is there may be too many characters introduced. (Like a MM with all his minions isn't? ) I would blame the crutch of fan fiction.

Reading your stuff make sure want to get back to my own. Very inspirational.

[Ockham]

I start to delve into curious mental conditions of a powerful Psychic, Lusion, with this story I am working on now and you put out this fantastic depiction by way of Sarah . I shall ever live in your descriptive shadow. Hehe.

Hmm... I knew something sounded familiar. Lusion did make me think of Sara too. I may need to borrow him for a flash piece.

I think the Other would definately consider him a threat to Sara. Both are very powerful.

If this story is going where I think it is going from your previously posted statments. Then Oooooo!

[Myths n' Wraiths]

Sorry I have been so quite this week. Was in Cali since last Sunday on buisness. Promise to do some reading and what not tomorrow.

Glad I am motivating you in some way Ock. I am really looking forward to the conclusion of your work. Admitidely, this first chapter is a bit heavy on the character intro's. It sort of depends on you being familiar with the DoW character to some extent already, a trap I try to avoid though not always succesfully. I actualy had quite a bit more description of the DoW in general in these first two chapters but it slowed them down so much I felt it more effective to cut it down a bit.

I truely enjoy the character Lusion. He is a bit of an inigma even to the end of this story. As with Myth and Wraith, Lusion is a great oportunity to take 'comman' powers and show them in a new light. So I portray him as sort of the wielder of a scalpal in a mental world where most Phsychics swing broad swords. And of course, feel free to use and abuse characters as you see fit . Beleive me, Brian gets abused a little bit at the end of this one .