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Part 2

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Part 2
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mrguy08
Class 100 Hero


Joined: 26 Apr 2006
Posts: 223
Location: South Mississippi

PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 5:23 pm    Post subject: Part 2 Reply with quote
 
I thought you'd moved away from comedy and even though this isn't really comedy I had no idea they'd be traveling to World of Warcraft when I read the first chapter. This is really different and I'm enjoying it so far but you really need to work on writing dialogue better. It's really hard to figure out who's saying what when it's all bunched together with the indication as to who's saying what.


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