Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 223 Location: South Mississippi
Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 5:23 pm Post subject: Part 2
I thought you'd moved away from comedy and even though this isn't really comedy I had no idea they'd be traveling to World of Warcraft when I read the first chapter. This is really different and I'm enjoying it so far but you really need to work on writing dialogue better. It's really hard to figure out who's saying what when it's all bunched together with the indication as to who's saying what.
_________________ Example of irony:
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia= fear of long words.
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum