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Taste of Blood Part 4

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Myths n' Wraiths Freedom Phalanx Founding Member Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 848 Location: I give a crap too ;) .	Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 11:44 pm    Post subject: Taste of Blood Part 4   OHH MY GOODNESS CAN YOU BELIEVE IT The final chapter in Tast of Blood has been submitted. I would like to say it was worth the wait but it would have to be one freakin awsome chapter to have waited three months or so for. Luckily the next story in the Dark Twin Chronicles is a one shot and is already written and ready for submission next week. So there will be no drawn out period in which to forget the entire story before that one is finished . I hope you guys do enjoy this one. It was extremely difficult for me to write becuase virtualy the entire thing is conflict and I found it very hard to perpetuate the story under those circumstances. Still I was going for an epic and drawn out fight to to lead up to the demise of the infamous Bloodlust and if I was able to accomplish that then I will consider it time well spent. _________________ Murphey's Laws of Combat "A sucking chest wound is natures way of telling you to slow down."
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Myths n' Wraiths Freedom Phalanx Founding Member Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 848 Location: I give a crap too ;) .	Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 6:34 am    Post subject:   Hey 'M' I was just reviewing the new works and figured I'd chime in on this one. Thanks 'W', thats cool of you. What'd you think? Ahhh, it was OK. Glad to see that dude finaly got what he deserved for ruining those kids lives. Could have used a little more emotional content though. And what it was really missing was fishisses. 'Fishisses'? Yes, nice juicey fish, my precious -KGOLUMMM- KGOLUMM-. Damnit, and the elves said I would be cured. Curse them _________________ Murphey's Laws of Combat "A sucking chest wound is natures way of telling you to slow down."
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pastarican Class 100 Hero Joined: 01 May 2006 Posts: 221 Location: Ohio	Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 9:32 am    Post subject:   Talking to ourselves, are we? I know a great therapist....my treat. Sorry I didn't post anything sooner. Action filled! Blood! Guts! A thoroughly reprehensible villain! Death! More Death! Not a lot of exposition, but a well-written action piece nonetheless. Now that they've defeated their nemesis, what will they do? (Kind of important, esp. if they've fixated on Bloodlust all these years. By the way, cool villain name!) -M-
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J D Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2	Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 10:05 am    Post subject: Dark Twin Chronicles - Ch 4   I like this story, but it almost seems a stand-alone in design. The emotional content for the characters is well-done, and the fight scenes are detailed. My only complaint is that at times it was hard to follow between the two distinct fights that were going on, and that may be me more than your writing as I have not read the other parts of this story to get used to your style. Nice writeup.
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PhoenixHawk Man of Steel Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 442 Location: as if anyone really gives a crap	Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:24 pm    Post subject:   Stand by... reading....
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Myths n' Wraiths Freedom Phalanx Founding Member Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 848 Location: I give a crap too ;) .	Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 11:53 pm    Post subject:   Thanks much fellas. I apreciate the comments and compliments. You know Pastarican, Volt said something along the same lines about there not being alot of exposition. My goal was to build up with the three previous chapters so that this one could simply be THE FIGHT. I guess since I posted the other chapters so long ago it kinda defeats the purpose though huh? Oh well, live and learn. Thank you as well J D. I like for each of my stories to be written with enough detail and background to where someone like yourself, who has never heard of the characters before, can come in mid story and get a descent feal for what is going on. The next story in the Dark Twin Chronicles is already written Past, and will be submitted today. The twins are going to try and start there lives anew and maybee find a little redemption for there uncontemporary ways. We'll see how well they do. I have three more stories to write in the DTC before I am caught up with current time and projects. Hopefully none will take as long for me to complete as this one . Waiting patiently PH _________________ Murphey's Laws of Combat "A sucking chest wound is natures way of telling you to slow down."
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Myths n' Wraiths Freedom Phalanx Founding Member Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 848 Location: I give a crap too ;) .	Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 10:33 am    Post subject:   I went back and reread the story with your comment in mind J D, about it being dificult to tell the difference between the two fights. I can kind of see where that might be, especialy for someone not familiar with the characters. I was told a few times when I first started writing that it was hard to keep Myth and Wraith seperate in my readers minds, and to be honest I kind of like it that way. They are twins and their powers are very similar so sort of a by product of that is that they would be difficult to tell apart until you get to know them, not unlike real twins. Since the majority of the shifts in scenes occor with me going from describing one of the twins to the other I can see where that may add some confusion. I think the only one that I did not do that in was going from describing Anarchys actions (a scrapper) to describing Wraiths actions (a scrapper) so that is little better. A lesson learned for future works. Be attentive to how I transition my scenes. I think some refernce to the distance between the battles would have been a great help there. Thanks for poitning it out _________________ Murphey's Laws of Combat "A sucking chest wound is natures way of telling you to slow down."
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PhoenixHawk Man of Steel Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 442 Location: as if anyone really gives a crap	Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 1:45 pm    Post subject:   Good wrap up. I liked the way you wrote the team's reaction to Valdien's sacrifice, it felt real. So did Wraith's reaction to Bloodlust calling him by his birth-name. I don't think it was hard to follow the two fights as much...it was very typical in that the action was drawn out. This genre is, in essence, built around action sequences; it has to be, it's based upon an action/rpg video game. We know the characters we created through action in game, so that's how they have come to be expressed. It's hard to write in this genre and not have long, descriptive fights. Anyway, good job! D
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Vindea Policeman Joined: 25 May 2006 Posts: 44	Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 5:27 pm    Post subject:   Great editing, Vindea! You rock! I figured if the Man could do it, so could I. Regards, Vindea
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Myths n' Wraiths Freedom Phalanx Founding Member Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 848 Location: I give a crap too ;) .	Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 10:31 pm    Post subject:   Thanks, PH This will probably be the longest fight I ever right. Both the stories I am wroking on now are far more plot driven and I am enjoying writing them soooo much more that way. Glad you liked the Valdien scene, I thought it was one fo the strong points. And yes, for those of you who don't know. Vindea is my editor in chief. She saves you guys from sooo many miss-spelligns and uses of ppor grammer it isn't funny. Starting after next weeks submission her name will even be on the stories so as to give her apropriate credit. Thank you very much wifey She needs to finsh her own story though _________________ Murphey's Laws of Combat "A sucking chest wound is natures way of telling you to slow down."
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Ockham Freedom Phalanx Founding Member Joined: 25 Apr 2006 Posts: 892 Location: I give a crap!	Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:18 pm    Post subject:   Good editing and writing. Dare I say this is the best you have written so far. Guess I did. All was good. The emotion, the fights, I could picture them all. I feel any confusions from the fight scenes were more from the brevity of the over length of the story versus the same appearing in a novel. I followed along fine, but chapters can easily define the different fights, Dragonlance coming to mind. Since this is a shorter format the extra space between paragraphs I think served the same purpose. One of the foils of short stories I guess. I also like the trend of heroes paying the ultimate sacrifice that has popped up over the last year. If the COH Writer's Guild were to have a theme for 2006 that might be it. I think it adds depth from a 2D game we all love to play. Excellent. _________________ Need a break from COH Fan Fiction? Try www.AnthonyHarte.com A Sci-Fi Fantasy Source.
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Myths n' Wraiths Freedom Phalanx Founding Member Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 848 Location: I give a crap too ;) .	Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 9:20 am    Post subject:   A review well worth the wait Ock. Thanks _________________ Murphey's Laws of Combat "A sucking chest wound is natures way of telling you to slow down."
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